.....::::: What Are God's Standards Concerning Sex? :::::.....

"More than half."

"That is the number of Americans (minus the rest of North America) that think that the Bible has little influence on a culture they see in moral decline." (source: Religion News Service)

"More than three quarters of Americans (77 percent) think that the nation's morality is headed downhill, according to a new survey from American Bible Society." (source: Religion News Service)

Moral decline means that our standards have been lowered. But why did I reference moral decline?

"The same survey shows that 88 percent of Americans said they own a Bible, 80 percent still think the Bible is sacred, 61 percent wish they read it more […]." (source: Religion News Service)

Stop. Hold that thought!

In the day and age we live in, sex is EVERYWHERE. And I mean EVERYWHERE! We find sexual images in public transportation, schools and don't get me started on television. This is important because the images, commercials and various types of media tell us that SEX, the act of love that is supposed to and was intended to be sacred, is available to you almost freely. This mixes up our generation a lot. Our standards have been mixed up with God's standards that we try to find a common ground or "gray zone" where we can compromise; still do bad things even though we know we shouldn't.

The shocking thing about all this is that whether we believe it or not, Christianity is very well known in the world today. It is often misinterpreted though. Sadly, many Christians don't even read their Bibles very often. Many non Christians and even Christians alike practice pre-marital sex, even though they know that they shouldn't. But many don’t know in reality what God has to say about pre-marital sex besides that it is forbidden. That is why I said "hold that thought earlier. Many men have no clue whatsoever about God's standard about sex.

Here is a FUN FACT! Did you know that in nearly every book of the New Testament, we are commanded to avoid sexual impurity? Don't believe me? Let’s visit what God’s standards are for this intimate act.

1) Matthew 5:28 - "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Sex was intended to be a means to express ones love, self-sacrifice, and union in a marriage relationship. What Jesus is saying here is that the desire to have sex with anyone who is not your spouse is mental adultery and thus sin. He emphasized that if the act is wrong, then so is the intention. Jesus is not saying that sex is bad or that a natural interest in the opposite sex or a healthy sexual desire is wrong. No. He is saying that when we fill our minds with sexual thoughts, we will be more likely to act on our thoughts. He wants us to avoid that.

2) Mark 7:21-23 "For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder,  adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

When we want to do things that we know are wrong, we THINK about it first. An evil action ALWAYS begins with a single thought. Paul mentions this and even advises us to think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. (See Philippians 4:8)

3) Acts 15:29 - "You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell."

Uhmm...I think it is pretty clear. But just in case it is, focusing on sex will just lead you to "situationships" and not relationships. This means more problems and less love.

4) Romans 13:13 - "Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy."

5) 1 Corinthians 5:11 - "But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people."

6) 1 Corinthians 6:13 - "You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

In Jesus, we find love, protection and freedom. But we should never abuse this freedom because if so, it has the potential to hurt others and even ourselves. The same way drinking too much leads to alcoholism, gluttony leads to obesity, sex in the wrong context can turn into a bad habit that controls you.

7) 1 Corinthians 6:13 -  "You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

8) 2 Corinthians 12:21 - "I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged."

9) Galatians 5:16,19 - "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. […] The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; […]"

10) Ephesians 5:3-4 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."

11) Colossians 3:5-6 "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed,which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming."

Men and women should be open to true love - and to sexual intimacy - WITHIN the commitment to lifelong fidelity.

12) 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5,7 "It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; […] For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life."

God created sex for pleasure and procreation. If you are not ready to have kids or start a family with that person, why find yourself in that situation? It is an expression of love between a husband and wife. Sexual experience must be limited to the marriage relationship to avoid hurting ourselves, our relationship to God, and our relationships with others.

13) Hebrews 13:4 - "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

14) 1 Peter 4:3 - "For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry."

15) Jude 7 - "In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire."

16) Revelations 2:14 - "Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: There are some among you who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin so that they ate food sacrificed to idols and committed sexual immorality."

17) Revelation 2:20 - "Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols."

18) Revelation 21:8 - "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Sounds harsh right? The Bible warns us of many things. It warns us of sexual sin and that we shouldn’t take it lightly. For too long, we have heard sermons or people speak about “running from sexual sin” but never in detail (please read our earlier post “The Truth About Sex”). God created sex to be a beautiful and essential ingredient of marriage, but any form of sex outside of marriage always hurts someone. It hurts god because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of being led by His Holy Spirit. It hurts others because it violates the commitment so necessary to a relationship. Ever notice how when two people finish having sex, the guy tends to not care and the girl is either emotionally hurt or emotionally dependant of the guy? You see! It deeply affects our personalities in the long run!

With that being said, we find that God’s standards for sex can be found in more than half of the books in the New Testament. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we enter a relationship with God. The example that I love to use is this: see God as your “lover”. When you are in a relationship, you do everything to please and keep that person happy and satisfied. Sleeping with someone else before God hands you over to your true life partner, is basically as if you cheated on God with someone else. Even though infidelity is very popular in our generation, that does not make it okay to do so. Think of the people who get hurt as a result of your actions, before you think of doing it. Hope this clears up some things for people. No one is perfect. We are not here to judge anyone. On the contrary, if you have done this or are living a life where sexual sin (sex before marriage) is dominant or present, it is not too late to stop. Sexual sin can be enslaving but Jesus died for those sins already; not so you can continue and still do it but so that you can have access to a LIFE that is way better and one that fulfills better than 5 minutes of body to body pleasure. We all struggle with something; some it is lust and others it may be something else. But if this doesn’t concern you, feel free to share it with someone who might need to read this. Stay blessed and much love to you on your walk with God. Peace & Blessings!

(This post used Stephen Arterburn’s book “Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time.” as a reference.)

(Devotions/ Devotionals)

.....::::: THE TRUTH ABOUT SEX :::::.....

What is SEX exactly? In the dictionary, it can be summarized to being an act of sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. Our generation sees sex as “recreational play between two consenting adults or people” (John Mark Comer definition). Some might ask, “What’s the big deal?” But like everything on this beautiful yet corrupt world we live in, every action has a reaction. Hopefully this post helps you realize the good, the bad and the in between of sex. 

What is sex exactly? Sex is actually the coming together of two people so they become one (no pun intended) body and soul. The two people become “fused” together at the deepest level. Let me start off by saying that sex is NOT bad. On the contrary, it is good because God created it. It is man that took what God intended for good and made it become what we see today in movies, music videos and other forms of media that we can get our hands on. It becomes bad when we use it in a context other than that of what God intended. He intended it to be used inside a covenant. What is a covenant? A covenant is an agreement that brings about a relationship of commitment between God and his people. The agreement that we all can think of and should think of is MARRIAGE. Speaking of context, while reading Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker’s book, “Every Man’s Battle: Winning The War of Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time”, it said something that truly caught my attention.

“Because our own standards on sexual purity have been so mixed with God’s, and since many Christians (sadly) don’t read their Bibles very often, many men and women have NO CLUE about God’s standards for sexual purity. 

Did you know that we’re commanded to avoid sexual impurity in nearly EVERY BOOK of the New Testament? […]”

And then the book goes on and literally gives you all the passages referring to sexual immorality. (I may give them all in the second part of this post).

THE GOOD. When something is done in the right context, there is no guilt, no ill after effect or regret. For example, have you ever had an exam coming up in school and you really worked hard, went to ask the teacher questions and even studied all night and all week just for this exam? And when you get to the exam, you pass it with flying colors? Isn’t it one of the best feelings ever?! Why? Because you did the right thing: you prepared for it. You could’ve cheated. You could’ve used your phone on the test. You could’ve chose to not study. But because you didn't, the reward was 10 times better. Hard work pays off! It’s the same with sex. If you wait and stay reserved, the feeling it gives will be much more fulfilling and satisfying. What if you decided to wait until you were married (even if you already had sexual relations before), and when you finally marry that special someone that has your heart, that you know will take care of you in every way possible and that you will spend the rest of your life with, having sex will mean so much more because you reserved yourself for God and that person. Sex can be used and seen as a form of thanksgiving to God for blessing you with your “other half” that is your partner. 

THE BAD. Sex shouldn’t be used as a form of pleasure before marriage. I, personally, am not saying these things because I am perfect. I am sharing this information because I have been there and sadly, one of the most enslaving sins that our generation is suffering from is sexual sin. Like I mentioned, I have been there and it is not something you can just get up and run from on your own. The act of having sex before marriage can cause chaos rather than being beneficial. It creates spiritual ties with every partner that we are with. Outside of marriage, sex can be dehumanizing. One person may see another person as an object because of self-gratification etc. Going back to what I said about spiritual ties with a partner, every time these relations happen, do you feel empty? Like a part of you has left you? Well that’s the spiritual aspect of sex kicking in. It’s as if one person comes and takes a little from you every time. It is stealing basically. For example, when we have sex before marriage, we are stealing from someone. The person we are having these relations with may or may not be our future husband or wife. That person does not belong to us. He or she belongs to God and eventually someone else. The image that I use is this one: What would you do if you dated someone or even if you didn't, had sexual relations with them but in 10 years, you got invited to their wedding and had to stare in the eyes of their partner to say congratulations? I know. It would be the most awkward feeling ever, right? Well that’s how it is. Do you walk into Walmart, open a box of soap, use it and put it back? No. So why not wait and make sure that this is the soap we need and wait for the right time to “buy” it? 

Sex isn’t bad when used in the right context. If you are one of those people, don’t worry, all is NOT lost. It is up to you to admit that you need help and that this is a problem. Then you must repent. No one likes a cheater. What do I mean? We are in a relationship with Jesus. When we have sex before marriage, we basically cheat on Christ. Our bodies are not our own. So to give ourselves away to anyone before a covenant or marriage is wrong. Even to those that aren’t Christians that may read this article, sex does not equal love. Sex is a benefit that comes from love but it is not love’s definition. Hope that helps. Stay blessed and in faith!

(Devotions/ Devotionals)