What is SEX exactly? In the dictionary, it can be summarized to being an act of sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. Our generation sees sex as “recreational play between two consenting adults or people” (John Mark Comer definition). Some might ask, “What’s the big deal?” But like everything on this beautiful yet corrupt world we live in, every action has a reaction. Hopefully this post helps you realize the good, the bad and the in between of sex.
What is sex exactly? Sex is actually the coming together of two people so they become one (no pun intended) body and soul. The two people become “fused” together at the deepest level. Let me start off by saying that sex is NOT bad. On the contrary, it is good because God created it. It is man that took what God intended for good and made it become what we see today in movies, music videos and other forms of media that we can get our hands on. It becomes bad when we use it in a context other than that of what God intended. He intended it to be used inside a covenant. What is a covenant? A covenant is an agreement that brings about a relationship of commitment between God and his people. The agreement that we all can think of and should think of is MARRIAGE. Speaking of context, while reading Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker’s book, “Every Man’s Battle: Winning The War of Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time”, it said something that truly caught my attention.
“Because our own standards on sexual purity have been so mixed with God’s, and since many Christians (sadly) don’t read their Bibles very often, many men and women have NO CLUE about God’s standards for sexual purity.
Did you know that we’re commanded to avoid sexual impurity in nearly EVERY BOOK of the New Testament? […]”
And then the book goes on and literally gives you all the passages referring to sexual immorality. (I may give them all in the second part of this post).
THE GOOD. When something is done in the right context, there is no guilt, no ill after effect or regret. For example, have you ever had an exam coming up in school and you really worked hard, went to ask the teacher questions and even studied all night and all week just for this exam? And when you get to the exam, you pass it with flying colors? Isn’t it one of the best feelings ever?! Why? Because you did the right thing: you prepared for it. You could’ve cheated. You could’ve used your phone on the test. You could’ve chose to not study. But because you didn't, the reward was 10 times better. Hard work pays off! It’s the same with sex. If you wait and stay reserved, the feeling it gives will be much more fulfilling and satisfying. What if you decided to wait until you were married (even if you already had sexual relations before), and when you finally marry that special someone that has your heart, that you know will take care of you in every way possible and that you will spend the rest of your life with, having sex will mean so much more because you reserved yourself for God and that person. Sex can be used and seen as a form of thanksgiving to God for blessing you with your “other half” that is your partner.
THE BAD. Sex shouldn’t be used as a form of pleasure before marriage. I, personally, am not saying these things because I am perfect. I am sharing this information because I have been there and sadly, one of the most enslaving sins that our generation is suffering from is sexual sin. Like I mentioned, I have been there and it is not something you can just get up and run from on your own. The act of having sex before marriage can cause chaos rather than being beneficial. It creates spiritual ties with every partner that we are with. Outside of marriage, sex can be dehumanizing. One person may see another person as an object because of self-gratification etc. Going back to what I said about spiritual ties with a partner, every time these relations happen, do you feel empty? Like a part of you has left you? Well that’s the spiritual aspect of sex kicking in. It’s as if one person comes and takes a little from you every time. It is stealing basically. For example, when we have sex before marriage, we are stealing from someone. The person we are having these relations with may or may not be our future husband or wife. That person does not belong to us. He or she belongs to God and eventually someone else. The image that I use is this one: What would you do if you dated someone or even if you didn't, had sexual relations with them but in 10 years, you got invited to their wedding and had to stare in the eyes of their partner to say congratulations? I know. It would be the most awkward feeling ever, right? Well that’s how it is. Do you walk into Walmart, open a box of soap, use it and put it back? No. So why not wait and make sure that this is the soap we need and wait for the right time to “buy” it?
Sex isn’t bad when used in the right context. If you are one of those people, don’t worry, all is NOT lost. It is up to you to admit that you need help and that this is a problem. Then you must repent. No one likes a cheater. What do I mean? We are in a relationship with Jesus. When we have sex before marriage, we basically cheat on Christ. Our bodies are not our own. So to give ourselves away to anyone before a covenant or marriage is wrong. Even to those that aren’t Christians that may read this article, sex does not equal love. Sex is a benefit that comes from love but it is not love’s definition. Hope that helps. Stay blessed and in faith!
(Devotions/ Devotionals)
